Hi! Thanks for agreeing to chat with me now that you’ve had your human body for a couple weeks. I’m excited to hear about how things have been going. Here’s how I’d like to spend our time: we will have an open conversation and explore your experiences. Later on, I have some specific questions that I would like you to answer, to get more specific feedback. At last, I’ll be sure to leave enough time at the end for any questions I might be able to help you with.
Does that sound good?
— Sure, sounds good.
Awesome. So is there anything you’ve noticed that you particularly like about your new body?
— Well, I like these sausagy things, but there’s one that is too short and out of the way, I wish they were all the same length and pointing in the same direction.
I’m going to assume you’re talking about your fingers. The little one is called “thumb”. Has it been useful in any way?
— Not really.
What if you want to grab something?
— I don’t see a problem. I have more sausagy things.
That’s true. Anything else about the fingers that you’d like to share?
— Let me think. Five sounds like too much, no? Maybe two or three would be enough.
Were there any particular situations where those extra couple of fingers were in the way?
— Yeah I was in bed with a friend…
That’s enough. Thank you. Any other aspects of your body you’ve particularly enjoyed or liked over the past couple of weeks?
— As I was saying, I was in bed…
GOT IT. Let’s move on. Have there been any events or situations where you’ve found your new body limiting?
— Yes I tried to fly from a tree branch and realized quickly that I couldn’t fly.
How did you reach that realization?
— I fell. Straight to the ground, landed on my arm. Which also made me realize these arm things aren’t very good at taking impact, the bones are pretty weak. I had to see someone called a “doc” and now I have this cast thing on. Are you going to fix that?
Oh my! I’m sorry to hear that happened. I’ll take a note to make sure we cover that type of bug in the design for later versions. How does the cast change things for you as you evaluate your body?
— I can decorate it with doodles. I really like that. If I do it on the outer layer of the body it wears off. Are you going to make cases for the body? Like with flowers and stuff. I saw some people wearing them.
You mean clothes? Sir, are you walking around naked?
— What are clothes?
Never mind. Let me ask you something. How has the temperature regulation been in the new body?
— Hmmm… what’s that word…? Cold! Yeah, that’s it! This body doesn’t have enough fur. Except in some funny parts, where it shouldn’t. You should definitely review the fur.
Interesting… I’d like to switch gears a little to focus on keeping the body up and running. In your orientation, we went over things like eating and grooming. Is there anything noteworthy you’d like to share about those kinds of processes?
— Eating is good. I like that. But I felt it was a bit random. There were no clear instructions on what I should or shouldn’t eat. I enjoyed the sweet things. I don’t really know why you offer green stuff with no taste.
Vegetables?
— Whatever you call it. The red stuff was good, like tomatoes sometimes, when they came with cheese, in a bun, with bacon, and meat.
Burgers?
— YES! Those were really good. I basically just ate those.
Welcome to America.
— What?
Nothing. Thank you so much! That’s all for regarding that subject. I just have a few more questions. On a scale from 1–5, where 1 is “I wish I had my old self back” and 5 is “I can’t believe I didn’t get this body sooner”:
— Not having a body is very different, you can do a lot of stuff if you have a nice working body I guess. I’ll say 4.
How would you rate your satisfaction level with your new body so far?
— 2. Maybe 3 on a good day.
Is there anything in particular that lead you to answer that way?
— It’s kind of slow and fragile. I wish it was faster. And bigger too.
How likely are you to recommend this experience to a friend?
— 3.
Is there anything in particular that lead you to answer that way?
— It’s fun to use for a while. But I guess you might get tired of it after a while, and would like to change it for a newer, faster, better-looking model.
Right on the spot. And finally, what’s one thing you really hope will be added to your body in the future?
— Wings. Or wheels. Whatever makes it faster. And fur. I said fur before, didn’t I?
You did. What value would that addition provide to you?
— I want to be faster. And warmer.
Thanks again for all your feedback — you’ll receive the gift certificate to the new body maintenance shop shortly. I’ll talk to you again in a few weeks. Take care!